The fact that “The Monuments Men”, “Need for Speed”, “Obvious Child”, “The Giver”, and “The Maze Runner” couldn’t even make my Honorable Mentions list shows that there were a lot of bad films released in 2014. So many to choose from, but these were the Worst movies of the Worst:
1. “EARTH TO ECHO”
This “ET” knock-off about a group of stereotypical pre-teens who find an owl-like robot who “just wants to go home” is an absolute mess. The performances were disastrous, the dialogue was corny and the story was ridiculous. But the worst of all was the “handheld camera” technique: so in-your-face that I had to forced myself to keep my eyes shut at times to keep my head from pounding more than it already was. At one point one of the characters says – “I need an Advil”, perfectly summed-up my miserable experience.
2. “DUMB AND DUMBER TO”
Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels did NOT need to reunite for this trainwreck of a “two decades later” sequel. Most of the story made absolutely no sense, the situations felt dated, and I don’t think I laughed once.
3. “SEX TAPE”
I had a feeling going in this one was going to be a clunker. Cameron Diaz (who, whether you want to admit it or not, is a thousand times better in “Annie” than this) and Jason Segel had no chemistry together, or any funny lines.
4. “TRANSCENDENCE”
And we thought “The Lone Ranger” was Johnny Depp’s career low. There’s some controversy surrounding the poor sound editing and mixing of “Interstellar”, but the numerous, stray techno noises here were far worse. The only thing transcendent about this film was its ineptitude.
5. “THE HOMESMAN”
It’s a western that also mixes-in elements of melodrama, comedy, horror, musicals, action, farce, road movies and more. And nothing works! This film features so many ridiculous scenes I was constantly shaking my head and agreeing with Tommy Lee Jones’ best line: “What the Hell?”.
6. “THE LEGEND OF HERCULES”
One of the first releases of ’14. Kellan Lutz (“Twilight”) starred as a far-less version of Mighty Hercules than Dwayne Johnson (though his “Hercules” was pretty bad, too). Clumsy and completely forgettable.
7. “POMPEII”
Should we feel bad that “24”‘s Kiefer Sutherland starred in this disaster, about a disaster, for the paycheck? Only if you saw it, too.
8. “INHERENT VICE”
Two and a half hours of my life I will never get back.
9. “I, FRANKENSTEIN”
“You, Awful.”
10. “BLENDED”
My Worst List couldn’t be complete without an Adam Sandler appearance. While it wasn’t as terrible as 2013’s #2 selection, “Grown Ups 2”, Drew Barrymore’s rendition of “Over the Rainbow” sealed the deal to get this into the Top 10.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
“AUTOMATA” – Antonio Banderas starred in this low-budget and deathly dull sci-fi/adventure whose battery dies long before the final scene.
“DIVERGENT” – It felt like six hours. It was only 2:20?!
“THE NOVEMBER MAN” – Pierce Brosnan in his own, poor “007” rip-off. More like “003”.
“THE NUT JOB” – The year’s worst animated film was so bad it’s not even on The Academy’s qualification list for the Animated Feature Oscar.
“RAGE” – Nicolas Cage flop in which his hairpiece gives the best performance. Will probably be writing that again next year at this time.