My worst films of 2011:
10. “We Bought a Zoo”
Incredibly forced family dramedy that features the most manipulative script of any film this year.
Director Cameron Crowe tries to make you tear-up in scene after scene after scene. The attempts at comedy are just as bad.
9. “In Time”
Interesting premise and promising start, but quickly turns into a complete waste of time. Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried walk through this uninspired action/thriller that is full of holes and gets more ridiculous as the movie goes on.
8. “The Green Hornet”
Seth Rogen stared-in, co-wrote and co-produced this action/comedy that featured no action and no laughs. His Green Hornet character is completely unlikable and the 3D post conversion is a disaster. The studio tried to bury it in early January, but I still remember how painful it was to watch.
7. “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked”
After a successful and enjoyable original and an O.K. “squeakquel”, the “Chipmunks” franchise has officially sunk. There are no clever jokes or situation, just a lame story filled with embarrassing songs and dance numbers. Watching this was one of the most painful experiences of my career as a critic.
6. “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”
We all got robbed of our booty by this stinker. Incredibly disappointing 4th installment in the series. Johnny Depp had nothing to work with thanks to a script with no little excitement, wit or suspense. And there was absolutely no chemistry between Depp and Penelope Cruz, who was completely miscast.
5. “Cowboys and Aliens”
Another highly-anticipated Summer movie that was a major disappointment. Even Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig couldn’t save this sci-fi western that was so uninteresting that even the actors seemed bored. Director Jon Favreau goes from the successful “Iron Man” films to this deathly slow and technically awful mess.
4. “Happy Feet Two”
Even worse than the original (which is saying a lot). A misguided story that actually puts hundreds of penguins in danger of dying (but you know they’re not going to). And I kept praying for the two annoying krill to be eaten. And the songs….Please…no more singing penguins!
3. “Spy Kids: All the Time in the World”
Whichever studio executive thought we needed a fourth “Spy Kids” movie should be forced to watch this…over and over…on his next cross-country flight. By far the cheapest-looking and cheesiest film of the year. Incredibly bad performances from Jessica Alba, Joel McHale and Jeremy Piven (who plays 3 characters). And the 4D – “Smell-o-Rama” gimmick STUNK.
2. “The Three Musketeers”
A complete mess of a movie from beginning to end, that didn’t know what it wanted to be: action film?…comedy?…historical drama? – and it’s failed at all of them. Featured a completely bland cast. As I said in my original review: “All For One…but NONE for This.”
1. “Green Lantern”
Ryan Reynolds was totally lost and miscast as a regular guy chosen to become the first human “Green Lantern”, who then has to who defeat the bad guys and save the world. We’ve seen everything in this movie before in countless superhero films, all done better than here. No originality in the story, action or the special effects (there are times you could practically see the Green Screen). In my original review, I complimented the makeup, but later regretted it. If I had to, to save my position as a film critic, I could sit through every other movie on this list again…except this one.