At 90 and 84 years of age respectively, entertainment icons Don Rickles and Regis Philbin are as funny, insightful and sharp as ever. I recently had the honor of attending one of their stage shows at the NYCB Theatre at Westbury on Long Island, NY. Regis moderated a “This is Your Life”- style look at Rickles’ career, complete with clips from Rickles’ movies, TV guest spots, talk show appearances, and some classic Regis/Rickles encounters. Hilarious stories accompanied all of the clips.
Westbury is theater in the round, so the stage slowly rotated as Don and Regis carried on their conversation, which made for some great remarks. A few people randomly shouted-out comments or questions from the crowd, and the always-feisty Rickles had an appropriate wisecrack, before telling them to “Shut Up!” Insults have been the signature trademark of “Mr. Warmth” throughout his iconic career. And it’s worked because he goes after everybody – no matter their race, religion, orientation and status. From U.S. Presidents, religious leaders and Hollywood celebrities – to total strangers in an audience who paid to come to his shows.
Don Rickles on:
Clint Eastwood – “He thinks $2 is a sufficient tip.”
Robert De Niro – “He would’ve been here but there are too many people.”
If doctors had to remove his infected leg: “I know Johnny Depp. So I can be in his new Pirate picture.”
Shooting Japanese soldiers in WWII: “I couldn’t kill them all because I knew some of them would have to make toys for my kids someday.”
Voicing Mr. Potato Head in the original “Toy Story”: “17 years later [it’s actually been 21, but who’s counting?] I’m still getting checks!”
The “Toy Story” sequels: “I said to my grandkids, ‘they’re paying for your education!'”
An exchange on Rickles returning for “Toy Story 4” (2018):
Don: “We’re doing another one.”
Audience Applauds
Regis: “[So] you’re gonna be in it?”
Don: “No – You Are!”
Regis Laughs
And then came the Q&A portion of the show. Audience members (some with beers and $15 Cosmopolitans in hand) walked-up to desingated microphones to ask Rickles about Johnny Carson, kissing Frank Sinatra, and there was even a request made by a woman for Rickles to publicly insult her…which he happily did.
I, with no drink and no intention for Rickles to roast me, asked if the long-time friends had ever been to the movies together. Don said to Regis, “I can’t recall that.” Regis then went-on to tell Don, “You know I actually know this kid. He’s been reviewing movies up in…Schenectady, since you were 12, right?” I replied, “Yes” and Don continued smiling. (I’ve actually been a film critic since I was 7, but Rule No. 1 of being with Regis Philbin: Never Correct Regis Philbin.)
Regis then asked if I was familiar with some of Don’s films, to which I answered with, “I’ve seen the ‘Toy Story’ movies and I’m excited that you’re going to be doing the next one.” Regis said it was nice to see me again, wished me luck, and Don waved good-bye – capping-off a memorable evening.
By the way, there was this rather large gentleman who asked a question right before me. After he was done Don had a suggestion for him: “There’s a new thing you might want to try out. It’s called A Diet.”