– You know a comedy’s not funny when the only laughs come from the bloopers during the end credits.
– You know a movie has bad performances when even the one guy playing himself does a terrible job.
– And you know when a movie is going after cheap emotions when it includes a dying man’s last wish – and it’s to see the Times Square ball drop one more time.
And yes, all of this…and much more…is part of Director Gary Marshall’s latest holiday tribute cheese-fest: “New Year’s Eve”, which is the follow-up to 2010’s surprisingly successful “Valentine’s Day.” Marshall clearly wanted to top himself this time so he has an even larger cast of celebrities who are part of six different storylines all taking place on New Year’s Eve 2011 in New York City.
The dying man is played by Robert De Niro. Yes, that Robert De Niro. His nurse is played by Halle Berry. There’s Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays an overprotective mom to teenager Abigail Breslin, who’s looking for her first New Year’s Eve kiss. Zac Efron reunites with “Hairspray” co-star Michelle Pfeiffer – he’s a messenger boy, she’s single and lonely. There’s a battle to see who can have the first New Year’s baby. Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel are involved in that. And there are plot-lines involving Jon Bon Jovi and old flame Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michele (from “Glee) stuck in an elevator together and Hilary Swank, who’s in charge of the ball drop and guess what: the ball gets stuck!
There’s also a slew of cameos, which is good because at least they help keep your interest as you wonder who’s going to pop-up next.
However, practically all the performances are way over-the-top and the script is both predictable and bland. And did I mention there are no laughs-none-until the bloopers at the end? I wish Marshall put the kind of effort into the movie itself that he did into the out-takes.
But even with all it’s problems, “New Year’s Eve” isn’t a complete mess. None of the storylines are overdone and they do all come to somewhat satisfying conclusions. There are a few twists but the film is so easy to follow that your mind can wander at times and you still won’t miss anything. This movie is simple, mindless entertainment, as long as you don’t mind not being too entertained.
“New Year’s Eve” is rated PG-13 for some (unnecessary) adult language. It’s appropriate for kids 13 and up, who might like the Breslin plot-line and seeing Efron and Michelle (who does sing) , but it’s mainly for adults who watch/go to movies to see their favorite stars.
On “The Official Kid Critic Report Card“, “New Year’s Eve” gets a C. Marshall’s New Year’s resolution should be to get away from these holiday films and try to make a movie that relies on a good script and believable characters and not just celebrities.