Watching “Earth to Echo” is easily one of the most miserable experiences I’ve had at a movie theater in some time. Obvious comparisons have been made for months, since the original, overly-dramatic trailer was released, to 1982’s all-time classic “E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial”. After seeing “Echo” (or as I call it, “E.T.E.”), mentioning this in the same sentence as Spielberg’s magical masterpiece is an unforgivable insult.
The ridiculous plot revolves around three stereotypical tween boys living in Nevada. Their families are being forced out of their homes due to the planned construction of a new freeway. After their cell phones go haywire, making weird noises and displaying pop-up maps, they decide to go on an adventure into the desert to try to track down the source of the strange communications. What they discover is a tiny owl-like, alien robot, who they quickly name Echo (it can’t communicate other than some beeping noises). Echo needs their help. The boys recruit a girl from school to join their group and, together, they try to keep their new friend from being captured by some suspicious adults.
In other words, as the protagonist foster child, Alex, puts it: “He just wants to go home.” Apparently he didn’t have a phone.
“Earth to Echo” is incredibly corny, with phony dialogue, impractical situations and unrealistic scenes. In one, a 12-year-old attempting to drive for the very first time, goes from hitting garbage cans to cruising along the highway, in 0-60 seconds. Are you kidding me?! Each performance is worse than the next, with wild emotions which are completely out of whack. I’ve never, personally, discovered an alien owl but, trust me, real kids don’t talk or act like this.
But the worst part of this movie, by far, is the use of the handheld camera technique. One of the kids, Tuck, “allegedly” films every part of their adventure with his handheld video camera. It’s “Paranormal Activity” meets “Super 8”. Not only is this extremely annoying, but the filmmakers didn’t even stay true to their concept. There are several scenes in which we see all four characters, from the camera’s point of view, but none of them are holding it. I had such an uncomfortable time watching so many extreme close-up scenes that I forced myself to keep my eyes shut while my head was pounding. My favorite line in the movie, “I need an Advil” (delivered by Munch), perfectly sums-up the experience.
Chances are this film was shopped around to all six major studios, including Disney, before ending-up in Relativity’s hands. It’s easy to see why. And it could have worked with some changes. For example, why not actually involve Echo in the story? Compared to the four kids, the floating creature is hardly in the movie at all. And it doesn’t talk, which is likely why young kids expecting a fun, exciting ride will be put to sleep (one in front of me had to be awakened by family members at the end). I really wonder what Echo would’ve had to say about this journey if given the chance.
“Earth to Echo” is rated PG for some mild action, peril and brief partying. If there’s an appropriate are range it’s kids 8-11. The closing credits of “Echo” feature the OneRepublic song “Counting Stars”. And their lyrics say it all for anyone who invests in a ticket to this lock for my Worst of the Year list: “Take that money – Watch it burn”.
On The Official LCJ Report Card, “Earth to Echo” gets an F.