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29 August 2015
Summer 2015 Awards - Movie Reviews for Kids

Summer 2015 at the Movies will be remembered for many things: dino domination, Minion mayhem, sensational stunts, and a torrential Tweet. Here are the Best of the Best and a few other honorees from the past four months of film:

Best Supporting Actor: Jason Segel ("The End of the Tour")

Best Supporting Actress: Rachel McAdams ("Southpaw")

Best Animated Feature: "Shaun the Sheep Movie"

Best Comedy: "Ted 2"

Best Action Film: "San Andreas"

Wildest Action Scenes: "Mad Max: Fury Road" & "Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation"

Best Documentary Feature: "Amy"

Best Ensemble: "Spy"

Best Actor: Jesse Eisenberg ("The End of the Tour")

Best Actress: Meryl Streep ("Ricki and the Flash")

Breakthrough Performance in a Drama: Jason Bateman ("The Gift")

Breakthrough Performance in a Comedy: LeBron James ("Trainwreck")

Biggest Disappointment - "Avengers: Age of Ultron"

The Most Overrated Movie of the Summer: "Jurassic World"

The Best Movie Only Six People Saw: "Escobar: Paradise Lost"

The "Hey, You Were Great in TWO Movies!" Award - Paul Giamatti ("San Andreas", "Straight Outta Compton")

The "Never Shoulda Been Made" Award - "Terminator Genisys"

Special Achievement in Disastrous Marketing - "Fantastic Four"

Best Picture: "The End of the Tour"


In Theaters

We Are Your Friends (R) D+

We Are Your Friends (R) D+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

“We Are Your Friends” star Zac Efron has called his latest film the “Saturday Night Fever” of this generation. But instead of a white jumpsuit and disco, Efron sports headphones and blares techno music as a DJ looking to make it big.

Efron’s Cole Carter is part of a four friend posse. They live in California’s San Fernando Valley - on the backside of the Hollywood hills. All four of are struggling to make money and desperately want to become successful. Cole meets superstar DJ James Reed (played by Wes Bentley - Seneca Crane in “The Hunger Games”), and Reed instantly takes Cole under his wing, vowing to help Cole perfect a signature track that could send him on his way to the top.

A lot more happens in “We Are Your Friends”, mostly involving the four friends and some enemies and friends who become enemies. A love triangle emerges, as Cole begins to take an interest in James‘ assistant and sort-of girlfriend Sophie (played by Emily Ratajkowski). But it’s the music that controls this movie, as the loud and relentless techno-pop soundtrack dominates most scenes, including numerous montages featuring predominately girls at parties and clubs dancing in slow-motion.

And yet, even with all this beat, “We Are Your Friends” has very little energy. In one distracting segment, Cole takes you completely out of the moment with graphics, charts and narration about the science of dance music, explaining, in detail, how 128 heartbeats per minute is the perfect way to get people moving. Unfortunately, this script kept me at a steady 60 heartbeats per minute for the entire film.

Efron’s Cole is in a complete daze from start to finish, even in a couple of fight scenes, and his buddies are pure stereotypes. Jon Bernthal (from “The Wolf of Wall Street”) does have a solid supporting role as a shady real estate tycoon. “We Are Your Friends” provides a little insight into this end of the music industry and avoids (for the most part) a “Happily Ever After” ending. It tries to set itself apart from other “finding yourself in Hollywood” stories that also feature conflict and romance, but all good efforts are erased by the cornball finale.

“Saturday Night Fever”? - No. “Tuesday Night - Very Mild Temperature.” is more like it. On The Official LCJ Report Card, “We Are Your Friends” gets a D+.

No Escape (R) C-

No Escape (R) C- - Movie Reviews for Kids

“No Escape” sounds like the title of a direct-to-DVD (or, these days, direct-to-VOD) movie. But The Weinstein Company thought they could make a little bit of money at the end of an action-packed Summer by releasing it in theaters. But there’s “no escaping” the fact that this thriller belongs in a discount bin at Walmart and not your local multiplex.

Owen Wilson is known for playing the goofball or sidekick in comedies - not a heroic action star. In “No Escape”, he’s inventor and businessman Jack Dwyer, who’s just taken a job with an international corporation that supplies clean water to 3rd world countries. So he’s moving his family - wife Annie (Lake Bell from “Million Dollar Arm”) and two young daughters - to Southeast Asia.

But to say his timing is bad would be a gross understatement: On the first day in their new country, the Prime Minister is assassinated and a revolution begins. The coup escalates quickly, and the violence travels directly to the Dwyers’ hotel. So Jack is forced to act fast - and take some wild chances - in order to survive this horrific nightmare and get his family to safety.

Pierce Brosnan has a 007-style supporting role and he does add some lighter touches to the very serious tone. This film doesn’t just depict one of the worst possible circumstances parents could ever face - but places you right in the middle of it, early on, making you feel like you’re in just as much danger as the Dwyers. But there is such as thing as “too much of a bad thing”…and once Jack is forced to throw his daughters from one rooftop to another (shown in ridiculous slow-motion), “No Escape” begins its decent into the land of unbelievability.

It’s always tough to buy-into movies, especially fictional ones - in which a family or small group of people are at the center of their own apocalypse and, somehow, they’re the only ones to stay alive. There are literally hundreds of people, just like the Dwyers, graphically slaughtered in this film, and yet this husband and wife, dragging two little kids along, are able to survive deadly situations, time and time again. Wilson and Bell do their best, but it’s all pretty far-fetched.

And I always find it distasteful, manipulative and desperate when a screenplay (this one is written by the film’s director John Erick Dowdle and his brother Drew) has to rely on young children being put in extremely dangerous situations in order to draw emotion out of an audience.

“No Escape” also has some rough editing and shaky story elements in certain spots. And while it does do a good job of convincing you to maybe put-off that planned vacation to Southeast Asia, it never feels gripping or genuinely suspenseful.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, “No Escape” gets a C-.

The End of the Tour (R) A

The End of the Tour (R) A - Movie Reviews for Kids

"The End of the Tour" is an immersive true-story drama starring two actors who give two of the year's finest performances. For five days back in 1996, Rolling Stone writer David Lipsky (played by Oscar-nominee Jesse Eisenberg) travelled with and interviewed prolific, 34-year-old author David Foster Wallace (played by potential Oscar-nominee Jason Segel) as he made his final stops on the promotional tour for his latest book, the 1,079-page, critically praised novel Infinite Jest.

As Lipsky discovers early on, Rolling Stone hadn't done an author profile in the last 10 years, and he needed to prove to his boss that Wallace was someone worth doing a piece on. Fourteen years later, Lipsky would publish the book this film is based on - Although of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace. Many of the scenes with Eisenberg and Segel take place inside the rental car Lipsky gets for the trip, as he asks Wallace about a variety of topics of his life, including his love of writing, substance abuse issues, and the price that comes with success and fame. But the focus here is also on Lipsky, who is a struggling author and sees Wallace's life as something to strive for - at least for awhile. 

From the first minute they meet, you are completely engrossed in this relationship. Much like in "Frost/Nixon", there's a fascinating dynamic taking place between interviewer and interviewee that we have a front row seat for. And it constantly changes throughout the five days, with the tables getting turned and stakes being raised, leaving you always wondering how far both men will go and how much about themselves they will reveal. And Lipsky's tape recorder becomes a third and very critical character in this relationship, used by both players at times to their advantage.

This is Eisenberg's best work since "The Social Network". Joan Cusack has a small, but memorable role as Wallace's book tour escort. As for Segel, this performance should earn him plenty of Awards Season attention in the Best Supporting Actor category. While his character is the focus of the interview and he has the more showcase role, this is really Lipsky's story. So, just as J.K. Simmons' domination of "Whiplash" last year was a Supporting role, so too, is Segel's work. And it's just as much of a powerhouse. He displays Wallace's pain, joy, humor and sadness through both words and actions. The dialogue between these two characters, the philosophies they share, reveal their loneliness and insecurities. Wallace's beliefs on world's obsession with television and the media are incredibly on target (and even more meaningful 20 years later). They make the scenes in which he's glued to the movie screen and hotel TV even more profound.

Writers, journalists and storytellers at all levels will relate to and embrace everything "The End of the Tour" stands for. Director James Ponsoldt ("The Spectacular Now") and writer Donald Marguiles (this is his feature film screenwriting debut) condense a typical relationship arc of two people over a lifetime into just a handful of days, but the complexities of this film will stay with you for a long time.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "The End of the Tour" gets an A.

Hitman: Agent 47 (R) D

Hitman: Agent 47 (R) D - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Hitman: Agent 47" is a reboot (of sorts) in a film franchise that started, and should've ended, with 2007's bomb "Hitman" starring Timothy Olyphant. Both of these movies are based on the popular video game series that's been around for 15 years. While video games, especially the shoot-em-up variety, are typically have extremely thin storylines, it seems the script for "Hitman: Agent 47" was likely written in about 15 minutes.

Katia (Hannah Ware), who has some telepathic tricks in her noggin, finds-out from a mysterious man named John Smith (played by "Star Trek"'s Zachary Quinto) that a genetically-engineered hitman, who has a human body but few human emotions, is out to kill her. His name is Agent 47 (the other 46 names were apparently taken). He's played by Rupert Friend, who has a slight resemblance to "Pirates of the Caribbean" star Orlando Bloom (which, of course, has nothing to do with the plot of this film, but that's what happens when one's mind wanders when the film one is watching is so completely uninteresting). 

Soon the plot becomes a search for Katia's dad, complete with the typical advanced technology mumbo-jumbo. The dialogue is so boring that ALL of the characters may as well have been genetically-altered non-humans (maybe they are?) As for the performances, Quinto is overdramatic, stiff and stingy - basically Spock in a nice suit. And all this time I thought he was acting in the two "Star Trek" films. This may be how Quinto plays all his roles. Friend's major responsibilites are fast driving and shooting people. For some reason his accent becomes noticably more American halfway through the movie.

There are some uninteltnionally hilarious moments during the goofy, slow-motion-filled action scenes, complete with corny one-liners. I must say there are some creative ways that people are killed in "Hitman: Agent 47" (clearly inspired by the game). And the body count is massive. In fact, 31 people die on screen even before the opening "Hitman" title appears, about five minutes in.

Mindless, ridiculous, but certainly not painless to watch, this is the worst pure action film of Summer 2015. On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Hitman: Agent 47" gets a D.


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"Straight Outta Compton" review

What's Next?
  • "A Walk in the Woods" - Wednesday
  • "The Transporter Refueled" - Sept. 4
  • "The Visit" - Sept. 11
  • "Black Mass" - Sept. 18
  • "Hotel Transylvania 2" - Sept. 25
  • "The Intern" - Sept. 25
Best @ the Box Office
  1. "Straight Outta Compton"  $26.8M
  2. "Mission: Impossible 5"  $11.7
  3. "Sinister 2"  $10.6
  4. "Hitman: Agent 47"  $8.2
  5. "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."  $7.4
  6. "American Ultra"  $5.5
  7. "The Gift"  $4.3
  8. "Ant-Man"  $4.1
  9. "Minions"  $3.7
  10. "Fantastic Four"  $3.7
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