Vin Diesel is best known for the hugely-successful “Fast & Furious” movies. One of his other breakout roles was introduced in 2000’s “Pitch Black”: Richard B. Riddick. A sequel, “The Chronicles of Riddick”, followed in 2004. Nine years later, the cult character returned in the definitively titled – “Riddick” – one of the worst films of 2013.
For the first half hour of “Riddick” I thought Diesel was going to be the only actor in the film. During this time he’s alone on a mysterious yellow planet (which he sees as purple without his signature goggles), wandering around and battling scorpion/lizard creatures, along with his CGI K-9 companion. That’s right, the wild dog that he almost kills, but decides to turn into a pet, isn’t even real. Then two groups of bounty hunters show-up and dominate the screen time for the next 30 minutes. Their goal is to capture and kill Riddick. Explaining why would give this plot more respect than it deserves. There’s a hunt and then – guess what – they learn that they must work together if any of them want to survive. I consider the fact that I survived these two hours of uninspired movie-making a major accomplishment.
“Riddick” is the recipient of a few LCJ Movie Awards nominations: One is “The ‘Total Recall’ (2012 version) Award for Most Colorful Language in an Action Movie”. There are so many F-bombs, often coming back-to-back-to-back, that it’s impossible to keep track. The other is for “Worst Special Effects”. Not only is the CGI K-9 an embarrassment but the hover-cycle rides are comical. I think the reason the film is shot so dark is to try to cover-up the amateur-looking effects.
I’ll admit, a couple of the action scenes work and Diesel does deliver a few good lines. But the film is agonizingly slow, there are too many characters who talk far too much, and did I mention the CGI dog?! “Riddick” is rated R for all the language, violence, some disturbing images and brief nudity. It’s appropriate for older teens and up.
On The Official LCJ Report Card, “Riddick” gets a D. In short, it’s “Riddick-ulous”.
Apparently Diesel wants to continue to make other movies in between the “Fast & Furious” chapters. But the fact that those films are coming more “fast and furious” than ever, he probably doesn’t have to (which would be a blessing, though we’ll make an exception for “Guardians of the Galaxy”).