Movie Reviews
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Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have done several movies together, including "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Edward Scissorhands". However, their latest collaboration has me as mad as a hatter, because it's just not very good.
"Alice in Wonderland" is based on the two, classic Lewis Carroll books, but it's isn't a remake of the familiar story, it's actually a sequel.
Alice (who's played by Mia Wasikowska), is now 19, and once again she falls into the rabbit hole and enters Wonderland (or in this case "Underland"). And, again, she meets-up with The Mad Hatter (played by Depp) and gets in trouble with the Red Queen (who has the huge head and voice of Helena Bonham Carter). Her sister, the White Queen (played by Anne Hathaway), helps Alice throughout the story but it's Alice who must, in the end, fight the evil Jabberwocky and save the kingdom.
If you think this sounds a lot less like "Alice in Wonderland" and a lot more like the next installment of the "Narnia" series, well, as Alice says several times in the film: "I'm afraid so." Frankly, I like Alice better in her little blue and white dress and not in battle armor carrying a sword and shield.
Yes, the Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are involved in the story, but not that much. However, the one thing that is missing completely from this version of "Alice" is fun. Burton has made a serious film, that, at times, is even a bit depressing. And the movie gets off to a dreadfully slow start, as the first 20-minutes: Alice's life prior to falling into the hole, are completely unnecessary.
Instead of the joy and wonder of the original stories (and Disney's own 1951 animated classic) we get fighting and arguing and sadness. When the most popular line in a film is "Off With His Head", you know it's not going to be a lot of fun.
On the plus side "Alice" is great to look at. The animated characters blend perfectly with the actors and the make-up and costumed design is fantastic. And some of the characters, such as the Cheshire Cat and Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar are quite likeable. But that's it.
"Alice in Wonderland" is rated PG, for the action-violence and the smoking. It's appropriate for kids 7 and up and they'll want to see it, but be ready for them to get bored in a hurry.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Alice in Wonderland" only gets a D+, a HUGE disappointment. After over a year of promotion and incredible hype, I have to say that this is one tea party that you need to skip.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Celine: Through the Eyes of the World" gets a B+. These concert
Celine: Through the Eyes of the World (NR) B+
"Michael Jackson's This Is It" was one of my favorite films of 2009. A new concert documentary, starring another pop icon, Celine Dion, is now in theaters.
"Celine: Through the Eyes of the World" follows Dion from start to finish of her 2008 World Tour. We get to see her experiences, good and bad, during a tour that takes her to 25 countries, 93 cities and 131 shows. Along the way she meets with some extraordinary people, including Nelson Mandela and Muhammad Ali, visits historic sites, including a Nazi concentration camp and spends a lot of time with her family and fans.
And, of course, she sings. The movie includes performances of most of her popular songs, but only a few of them from start to finish. Maybe that's because this is not just a "concert film" but a "tour film". The movie spends much more time showing us Dion off stage than on. And we get to know her husband and son as well. You really get to understand what life is like on the road of a concert tour. And you appreciate the struggles Dion goes through with a few illnesses during the tour that caused her to lose her voice, and cancel shows.
The directing and editing are excellent. The film crew shot over 800 hours of footage. Getting that down to a 2-hour film could not have been easy. There are some nice moments with Dion and her dancers and back-up singers, and we see her trying to be a normal mom, with young son, Rene.
I wasn't a Celine Dion fan heading into the movie. I don't think I could have named one of her songs. But I still enjoyed this movie a lot. And if you are a fan - this is a must-see.
"Celine" is not rated. It's appropriate for everyone. The close-up's of her vocal chords during a visit to her doctor are a little gross, but other than that there's nothing to worry about. Two things to know if you're planning on seeing the film: Ticket prices are a little steep ($15) and it's only showing for a limited time in select theaters around the country. But it's worth the $$$ and it's worth finding.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Celine: Through the Eyes of the World" gets a B+. These concert documentaries are starting to become a new, favorite genre for me.
According to Dion, all the footage was originally intended to become a home movie for her family, but soon they realized that it could be much more than that. A very good decision.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians:The Lightning Thief (PG) C
Chris Columbus, the director of the first two “Harry Potter” films - the man who developed one of the biggest movie franchises of all-time - is back to see if he can make “lightning” strike twice.
“Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” is based on the first installment of the popular book series of the same name.
At the start of the film, Percy thinks he’s just a regular high school student, even though he can breathe underwater for long periods of time, he can read Greek writing and he hears a voice giving him advice.
But on a field trip to a museum, Percy learns that, not only isn’t he a normal teen, but he’s actually a “demigod” - his mother is human but his father is the Greek god Poseidon. Percy is accused by Zeus, the King of the gods, of stealing Zeus’s lightning bolt…which he didn’t do. And so Percy and two friends (NOT named Ron and Hermione) go on an adventure, around the United States and to the underworld, to try to straighten out the situation and prevent Zeus from waging all-out war against his brothers Poseidon and Hades.
From the trailer I was expecting “Percy Jackson” to be much more exciting that it turns out to be. There’s much too much dialogue from the characters explaining the story, though the movie does supply you with a nice lesson on Greek mythology, even though that’s wasn’t something I was looking for on the first night of winter vacation.
Overall the performances are not that strong. Logan Lerman, who plays Percy, sounds and acts a lot like Zac Efron. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. The other young actors are pretty bland.
Pierce Brosnan, Catherine Keener and Uma Thurman are also in the cast. Thurman is way over the top as Medusa, but I guess when you’re playing a Greek goddess with dozens of snakes coming-out of your head, that’s o.k.
The effects in the film are very well done, but a lot of the action scenes reminded me of other fantasy-action movies, including “Narnia: Prince Caspian”, “The Mummy” and, of course, the “Harry Potter” movies. Plus, there’s more than a touch of “Star Wars” here as well.
“Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” is rated PG for typical action violence and some mild language. It’s appropriate for kids 8 and up, but you fans of the series will be disappointed that Percy is much older here than in the book, where he’s only 12.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, “Percy Jackson” only gets a C. It's the biggest disappointment of the year so far.
There are four more books and, therefore, four more “Percy Jackson” movies on the way if this one’s a financial hit, which I’m guessing it will be. But after seeing “Lightning Thief” I don’t think the “Percy” series will come close to the success of the “Harry Potter” films.
Extraordinary Measures (PG) B+
Hollywood heavyweights Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford are best known for their action roles. But in their latest film they get to show -off their dramatic acting skills.
"Extraordinary Measures" is based on the true story of the Crowley family, which includes two children who suffer from Pompe disease, which causes their muscles to weaken and their hearts, livers and other organs to grow larger than they should. We learn at the start of the film that kids with Pompe disease usually only live until they are 9 years old.
John Crowley, the children's father (played by Fraser), reads about a scientist who thinks he's coming close to finding a treatment for Pompe. Ford plays the scientist - Dr. Bob Stonehill. The two come together to try to come up with the breakthrough that will not only save John's kids, but others who have the disease.
"Extraordinary Measures" really worked on me emotionally. You get caught-up in the story and root for the scientists to come-up with the treatment and the kids to stay alive so they can get the treatment. The film has a great message about not giving up, even when things look bad.
Ford, Fraser and Keri Russell, who plays wife and mom Aileen Crowley, are all excellent. The kids are also very good, and the real John Crowley even has a cameo.
With the Winter Olympics right around the corner I'm reminded of that famous quote: "Do You Believe in Miracles?" Well, this story is a perfect example of what people can do when they DO believe in miracles. It's been awhile since I left a theater feeling this good.
"Extraordinary Measures" is rated PG for a few dramatic scene involving the sick kids and some adult language. It's a nice option for families who are tired of the blockbusters and comedies. Children 10 and up should be able to handle the subject matter and appreciate the story.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, “Extraordinary Measures” gets a B+. Very moving.
This is the first movie from CBS Films, the new division of the TV network. Congratulations to the studio for getting off to an "Extraordinary" start.
Tooth Fairy (PG) B
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has starred in a bunch of family films in recent years, most the them not very good. His latest - “Tooth Fairy” - isn’t great, but it’s not bad, thanks to some help from his friends.
"The Rock" plays Derek Thompson, a professional hockey player. He use to be a star in the NHL, but he's been stuck in the minors for nearly a decade, and he’s lost his dream of making it back to the big time.
Because of his bad attitude, including almost telling his girlfriend's young daughter that the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist, Derek is sent to Fairyland, and order to serve time as a Tooth Fairy. Mary Poppins herself, the great Julie Andrews, plays the boss of Fairies, but she doesn't get to fly this time.
If you’ve seen the trailer for “Tooth Fairy” you may think that this is simply a hockey version of the football movie “The Game Plan”, which Johnson starred in in 2007. But “Tooth Fairy” has a much better film, thanks mostly to the supporting cast.
Ashley Judd plays the girlfriend, and she’s very good, and the two kids are both cute and believable. Plus another Hollywood legend, Billy Crystal, has a funny cameo as an older fairy who helps out the newcomers.
And British comic-actor Stephen Merchant is excellent as Derek’s helper, who has a dream of someday becoming a Tooth Fairy himself.
But it’s Andrews who is the most impressive. At 74 she still looks great, and can still deliver her lines perfectly. She’s been doing a lot of voice-over work lately (including in two animated films coming-out this summer: “Shrek Forever After” and “Despicable Me”) so it’s wonderful to actually see her on camera.
The plot of “Tooth Fairy” is pretty basic, and the message of believing in yourself and going after your dreams is nothing new. There could have been less of the relationship stuff and more comedy, but it still works.
“Tooth Fairy” is rated PG, for some mild hockey violence. It’s appropriate for everyone, and even the little ones should enjoy it.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, “Tooth Fairy” gets a B, which is a much higher grade than I thought I’d be handing-out.
In fact, it's The Best Family Film of the Year! (since it's only the second one, and "The Spy Next Door" is a mess).
The Spy Next Door (PG) D+
What a way to start-off the 2010 - Jackie Chan as an International spy/friendly neighbor with all the moves. Unfortunately, Chan's martial arts talent is one of the only good things about "The Spy Next Door".
Chan plays Bob, who's retired from the spy business and wants to marry the single mother with three kids who lives next door. Her kids think Bob's a loser and they don't want them to get together. Bob's gets to take care of the kids when the mom has to go out of town, but no one knows about Bob's secret life as a spy, until the bad guys come looking for him and the valuable formula that one of the kids downloaded by accident.
The plot is silly and no one in this family acts the way normal people would act if they found out that their babysitter was a spy being chased by Russian mobsters. How about picking-up a phone and calling the police!
That's not all that's wrong with this movie. There isn't a single laugh in the script. And the acting is weak. Chan has never been known for his acting ability, but that's o.k., because he makes-up for it with his incredible stunt work and fighting scenes. But the rest of the cast has no excuse.
Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez both play CIA Agents. Neither will be putting this movie on their resumes.
Here's another thing that bugs me: this family has a pet pig. It seems like every suburban household in family comedies these days has to have a pet pig. Do you know anybody who has a pet pig? I sure don't. How come every "Hollywood" family seems to have one. Enough with the pet pigs!
"The Spy Next Door" is directed by Brian Levant ("Are We There Yet?", "Jingle All the Way"). He uses a lot of tight shots and the dialogue is very sloppy, especially with the kids, who are awful. And the fake Russian accents of the villains are laughable.
"The Spy Next Door" is rated PG for mild violence. It's appropriate for everybody, and kids may like the action scenes, but there's not much else for anyone to like, except the 70's spy music, which is cool.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "The Spy Next Door" gets a D+.
Chan's next film is "The Karate Kid" remake, which comes out in June. In the meantime I'm going to watch some of his older films, which I think I'll enjoy. And, hopefully there won't be any pet pigs.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (PG) C+
Who knew that three singing chipmunks who were so popular on TV back in the '60's would be such a hit in their 2007 big-screen debut? I knew! But can Alvin, Simon and Theodore do it again two years later?
In "The Squeakquel" the brothers are still mega-superstars all across the globe. An accident (caused by Alvin, of course), sends Dave, their adopted father (Jason Lee), to the hospital. And so his cousin, a slacker played by Zachary Levi (from TV's "Chuck"), gets the job of taking care of the chipmunks. And he's very bad at it.
Meantime, the chipmunks are ready to attend high school, where they have to deal with bullies, an obsessed principal, peer pressure, and playing sports. There's a singing competition that the school needs to win to save it's music program, but Alvin is too distracted with everything else to take it's seriously.
And, of course, there are The Chipettes, three female singing chipmunks who want to become stars, and the evil Ian (David Cross) is back from the first film as their manager.
There's a lot going on in this sequel, maybe too many plot lines, which makes "The Squeakquel" not as much fun as the original. The writing is sloppy and there aren't that many laughs.
The biggest problem is that in the first movie everything about the chipmunks- the way they looked, talked, sang, was new to the movie audience. And it was all pretty cool. Obviously none of that is new this time, and so a lot of the charm of the original is missing here. Also, there are too many songs and pop-culture references.
On the positive side, the animation of the chipmunk characters is outstanding, even better than in the original. If you didn't know better you would actually think that these talking animals are real. And the voice work is good. Anna Ferris, Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate play the Chippettes (though you really can't tell because their voices are so squeaky). But it must have been fun for them to work on this project.
As for the real actors, Cross gives his all again, Levi didn't work for mel, and Lee, the star of the original, is only in a few brief scenes.
"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" is rated PG. There are a few bullying scenes and some mild peril involving the furry creatures. It's appropriate for kids of all ages, and this is definitely a kids movie. Parents won't enjoy it as much as the first one.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel" gets a C+.
How this one does at the box office will determine if the series will continue. I'd like to see the Chipmunks and the Chipettes in another movie, but one with a better script.
Avatar (PG-13) C
It took writer/director James Cameron over two years and close to $300 million to make "Avatar". Was it worth it? Well, yes and no.
The story is based in the distant future - the year 2154 to be exact. A Marine named Jake Sully joins a mission to a far-away planet called Pandora, substituting for his twin brother, who was killed in battle.
Jake is chosen to become an avatar, a creature that's part human and part "Na'vi", members of the tribe that live on Pandora, so that the military can get to know the natives better and convince them to leave their land, which is full of a valuable mineral that the military wants to sell and make a lot of money. But Jake gets to like the Na'vi, and falls in love with their princess, and so he has to choose between being loyal to Earth or Pandora.
"Avatar" is nearly two hours and 45 minutes long so there's a lot in it - both good and bad. The story is a bit confusing when it comes to explaining how Jake gets to go back and forth from one world to another. Since this is Science Fiction you just have to go with it.
The acting is just O.K. Sam Worthington, who plays Jake, and Zoe Saldana, who plays the princess warrior, are both very good. They have nice chemistry on screen. None of the other characters are very believable, including a scientist played by Sigourney Weaver and the evil military leader played by Stephen Lang. In fact much of the dialogue, including narration by Worthington's character, is simply in the film to explain to the audience what's going on. That shouldn't have to happen.
And did I mention that it's nearly 2 hours and 45 minutes long? Cameron could have chopped-out a lot and it wouldn't have hurt the film, but I guess he wanted people to get their $300 million's worth.
On the positive side, "Avatar" is beautiful to watch. The landscape and creatures of Pandora are amazing. Cameron used some new technologies in the making of the film, including a new 3D camera he invented himself. I saw the movie in IMAX 3D and it's spectacular. He also used the "motion-capture" technique with the actors, making them look real, even though they are also animated.
Still, overall, "Avatar" is a bit of a disappointment. The plot is too simple and while I guess you want the people of Pandora to win and save their land, you don't really care that much. The movie also tries to send a pro-environment message to the audience, but it didn't work on me.
"Avatar" is rated PG-13 for all the action-violence, plus some adult language. And the people of Pandora are mostly naked all the time, though they have blue skin and you can't really see anything.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Avatar" gets a C.
There was a little applause at the end of the film from the sold-out, opening night crowd in the theater I was at. I don't know if they were clapping because they enjoyed the movie, or that it was finally over.
The Princess and the Frog (G) C+
"Are you Ready..." for my review of the highly-anticipated return of the Disney Princess movie? Well, you may be ready, but you might be a little surprised by what you're about to read.
"The Princess and the Frog" isn't in the same class as the great Disney Princess films. In fact, the princess isn't even a princess until the final 30 seconds of the movie!
Tiana is a young woman who's always had big dreams and parents who support her. Along with wishing on a star (which Jiminy Cricket told us to do 70 years ago), Tiana's mother and father taught her to work hard to make her dreams come true. Tiana's dream is to open her own restaurant in New Orleans, where the story is set.
One night, while dressed as a princess at a party, she kisses a frog who has convinced her that's he's a prince who's been cursed by an evil "shadow man" (who looks a lot like Jafar from "Aladdin"). Tiana turns into a frog herself, and the two of them, with some friends they make along the way, have to save themselves as they try to break the spell and become human again.
Along with the ones I've already mentioned there are plenty of other things in "Princess/Frog" that seem to be taken from other Disney films, including:
- The song "Human Again", which is straight from "Beauty and the Beast"
- A float in the Mardi Grai parade with a King Triton on it ("The Little Mermaid")
- A rip-off of the classic spaghetti scene from "The Lady and the Tramp"
And there's more. Needless to say, this film lacks originality.
The other element that seems to be in most Disney films - the killing-off of a main character - takes place in "Princess/Frog" as well. But they really over do it - as three characters die in the film, and the last one is shocking.
The movie is a musical, and the songs are great. But there are too many of them, especially in the first 15 minutes.
The animation is excellent. This movie marks a nice comeback for the studio in hand-drawn animation. The voices are o.k. Anika Noni Rose does a good job with Tiana, Disney's first African-American princess. John Goodman, Terrence Howard, Oprah and the "BAM" chef himself, Emeril Lagasse, also lend their voices, but all have small roles.
The main problem is with the story. It didn't grab me emotionally like "Beauty and the Beast" or "The Lion King". There aren't many laughs, as the supporting characters, who usually supply all the comedy in Disney movies, just don't get the job done.
"The Princess and the Frog" is rated G. It's appropriate for everyone (though the death at the end may be sad for the little ones). However, kids who have watched the Disney classics over and over and over at home, may be a little disappointed.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "The Princess and the Frog" only gets a C+.
The directors of "Princess/Frog" were the same team that did "Aladdin" and "The Little Mermaid". That be part of the reason for the lack of originality.
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Reply #1 on : Tue December 15, 2009, 17:28:44
Old Dogs (PG) D+
When this Disney comedy came out last year, with Hollywood legends John Travolta and Robin Williams teaming-up, I hoped that they'd be a winning combo in a funny film. I was wrong.
In "Old Dogs", Dan (Wliiams) and Charlie (Travolta) are long-time best friends and business partners. Dan's old girlfriend, Vicki (played by Travolta's real wife, Kelly Preston), comes to town and tells Dan that he's the father of her two children.
Vicki needs to find someone to take care of the 7-year old twins while she's in jail for two weeks, so Dan and Charlie volunteer. Neither of the two "old dogs" have any experience with kids so they have trouble keeping the kids happy while also trying to close a huge business deal.
The overall theme of "Old Dogs" is a little adult for a Disney film, but that isn't the biggest problem with the movie. The script is horrible - no funny lines or originality. The performances are dreadful, and there are several awkward scenes in which you feel embarrassed for the actors. I've really enjoyed both Travolta and Williams in previous family films, including "Hairspray" and "RV", but there's nothing to like here.
In some ways "Old Dogs" is similar to the 2008 family comedy "Imagine That", in which Eddie Murphy plays a businessman who doesn't know how to take care of his daughter. That movie surprised me in a good way. What's surprising about "Old Dogs" is just how unfunny it is.
"Old Dogs" is rated PG for mild adult humor and themes, including a scene in which characters get hit in their private parts with golf balls. You know a comedy is bad when there has to be a scene in which characters get hit in their private parts to get a laugh.
This movie is supposed to be for kids, but they'll be bored. If you're a big fans of Travolta and Willams you may want to see them together, but after about 10-minutes you'll wish they, and you, were in a different movie.
On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Old Dogs" gets a D+. That grade is probably a little higher than it should be, but it was the final movie for the late Bernie Mac, who has a cameo, so I'm being generous.
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Reply #2 on : Mon March 08, 2010, 17:48:18
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Reply #1 on : Sat March 06, 2010, 12:27:01